♥♥ Thursday, 29 October 2009♥♥

16 more days .

today I don't feel really happy with what I have today . Maybe due to tht quarrel I had with Justin . I been wondering why I can't be surviving myself . I question myself for very long and I can't get any answer from myself . I'm been tired of this draggy relationship and hearing loves one calling me crazy , slut or rather cheapo . maybe i'm tht why I ended with a BIG TUMMY . I have never regret until today and never blame anyone except myself . Cos I'm the one who have unprotected sex .

I learning hard to live alone and to encounter all joys and tears alone .

I'm here today is because of my old classmate saw me at petrol station weeks ago and have commented I looked wreck ever since he saw me at there . It reflected me how joyful and crazy I'm when i was in secondary with him and another friends sitting and chit chatting together most of our days. and as other said I once a cheerful and happy-go-lucky girl . Now I can only smiles and tell others nothing .

People might be thinking I'm foolish and childish due to my decision . but no one actually knows that pain making such miserable decision . I no who to kill someone due to my fault. My partner can only shout at me today won't be like this if you aborted her . ABORT don't seems easy for the victim no one actually know .

EVERYTHING TODAY IS I CREATED MYSELF AND I HAVE START TO PAY FOR MY MISTAKE .

Ohhs yas , readers please do not discussed my entries infront of me to you friends or whoever thanks . it make me feel weird when i overheard it .

aversionLADY